Stevie

If It's Magic by Stevie Wonder


If it's magic...
Then why can't it be everlasting
Like the sun that always shines
Like the poets in this rhyme
Like the galaxies in time

If it's pleasing...
Then why can't it be never leaving
Like the day that never fails
Like on seashores there are shells
Like the time that always tells

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's special
Then with it why aren't we as careful
As making sure we dress in style
Posing pictures with a smile
Keeping danger from a child

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's magic...
Why can't we make it everlasting
Like the lifetime of the sun
It will leave no heart undone
For there's enough for everyone

Where have I been? I could ask the select few who read this from time to time, the same thing. I thought about why I don't share this blog with everyone, or anyone for that matter. Maybe because it's not concise, it's typically long and drawn out for only one reason...that's the way my mind works. I spend a lot of time just thinking. I think about why someone said or did that, how they came up with that explanation, or why they reacted to something a certain way, and sometimes why they hurt my feelings and had no idea that they did so.

Today I'm pissed off, and tired. I am exhausted and anxious. I find that I am anxious a lot of the time, and it's mostly because of what I do and don't do. I'm not trying to talk in riddles or to not point out obvious points...lol! I'm literally writing with little censorship. I have to say "little" because I'm censoring a little.

I decided to do something that I rarely do, and that's use the frustration to create. I used to do this when I was in my painting stage. I try to paint my feelings and I really liked some of what I came up with. My favorite one of all was stolen...I'll never forget that piece. Anyway, I took the time to realize what I was frustrated about and I started writing out the purpose and goals for my new business idea. What better way to break the stream of frustration than to create your own success?

"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do." H. Jackson Brown Jr.

It's my birthday

Today is my birthday and I'm so thankful. I'm thankful for all of working senses and limbs! I really am! God is great! It's important to keep that in mind, even when feeling like complete garbage! I'm not saying that I do or did. Today was an exciting day, full of emotion and choices. I made a lot of choices today, but the most important was to be absolutely thankful for what I have going on in my life right now. No, I'm not absolutely where I want to be, but it's okay. I understand that when we think about where we want to be or the goals we want to reach, seldom do we think about the path it takes to get there. My dreams are still my dreams, but how I will get there has yet to be determined.

I always tell people not to give up. Yes that's what everyone tells everyone right? But I don't stop there. I continue by saying, don't stop because plenty of other people will. They're only moving out of the way for you, and If you never give up, you HAVE to make it one day. You have to! So, today on my birthday, I am saying what I often say, more so to myself than anyone else. Keep on!

"Accept each day just as it comes to you, remembering that He is sovereign over your life. Rejoice in this day that He has made, trusting that He is abundantly present in it. Instead of regretting or resenting the way things are, thank Him in all circumstances. Trust Him and don't be fearful; thank Him and rest in His sovereignty." -Jesus Calling

A few from the book....

Clouds


Lay down on my cloud

and drift away

this is my world

only clouds

perfect sunrises

and God's sunsets

the realest dream

a sturdy cloud

my cloud

and I'm free

to sail on the wind

to stop and embrace the freshness

of my feeling.

Today is my forever.

This thought,

my freedom.
-------------





Morning Jukebox

It was funny....
I heard every word she said
but I also heard the music
coming from behind her.
The coffee machine dripped and dropped
into a cup
splashing its mist all over,
but making music all the while
note after note
a song was born
but...
I laughed inside
because
i wasn't sure if i was being
overly creative
or if,
anyone,
would notice
the melodious liquid.
i laughed,
because
i didn't know
if she knew
that she was losing me.
little by little
the coffee was slightly more interesting.

she was done washing her dish,
and the conversation
was moving away from
the morning jukebox.
i was sad
and she was unaware.
we walked away
and i held on
to that last...
drop.
that last...
note.

--------

5-23-09


I was disappointed that he missed the wedding

And sad, because I know exactly what he looked like

When he was trying to make it.

And I know how he looked when they told him he was too late.

When gravity took over and everything in his body felt lost.


I saw the man with the locks that touched

The backs of his legs

I wondered what stories his hair held.


I watched the girl across from me,

Look up and search for thoughts to write in her notebook.

I acknowledged her with a smile,

Hoping it also served as a dose of encouragement.

I wondered how far her words would travel,

If she’d share past that piece of paper.


I noticed the woman’s shoulders fall at the same time as mine.

We shared a breath,

And with the next,

Returned to our own separate patterns.


I recognized that I am always familiar with the day,

And not the date

As my busy calendar of events,

Does not exist.

But at this very moment, I suddenly remember today’s date.

I remember the wedding date.


I remember that my family

Shifted onto the same plane this week,

As we received the news of a sisters, a daughters, despair.

A loss,

On levels too many.


I realize the journey of urges to satisfy completion.

Trying desperately not to be tricked by what seems to be.

To be with someone who makes you feel

A comfortable confinement…free.

You can still soar…with them.


I feel the confusion of myself

Fully capable of deciphering others problems and emotions

While I’ve only cracked the surface of my own.

I always select easy/novice when it comes to my life.

Hard?

I’d rather not.

I like passing and completing levels,

Why not repeat the ones I’ve mastered?


I see old ladies,

Who live in a place not made for them.

But they silently proclaim,

That they are the strong if it’s true that only the strong survive.

“I’m still here,” her eyes and straight back say.


There are so many stories on this train.

What would all of our thoughts look like,

If they were tossed into the middle?


I’m swimming, searching for words

To make my thoughts sound like a masterpiece

But I can’t try,

Not on this one,

It just has to be.


I see people and I wonder all the time…

What are you talking about?

What are you saying?

What are you doing?

Does anything change because of you?

Do you improve and uplift?

Or are you just here?

Walking around in circles like most of us?

What do you do?

Do you know who you are?


It’s amazing we all sit here,

We all hold a power that most of us

Don’t know how to use,

So we settle.

On this train, all these thoughts…

But that’s really what I see.

I’m not judging books by cover,

But that’s how I feel.

A lot of unused power,

Complacency.

I know what it looks like because,

I know what I look like.

The most common misunderstanding…

You don’t know who you are,

You spend a lot of time trying to understand

What God thinks of you

You don’t spend enough time believing it.

----

So they say...

"Most good relationships, in the beginning, require some faith and risk." -unknown


I believe that...totally.

I think relationships can be a little scary, especially the older you get. You put yourself on the line hoping that things will turn out right. It's like my fantasy football team. All I can do is read the stats, hope for good health, and take the risk. It's always a gamble, but when it's right...it feels great, and not because you get a bunch of points and bragging rights. It feels good because you made the right choice, you trusted yourself enough to press the submit button and to just go for it.

By the way...I won in both leagues this week!

Who's Crazy

If you ever get the opportunity, you should stop to think about what you're thinking about. You would notice something rather peculiar about your thoughts. How random and scattered they are, and how you would probably be committed if you ever really said everything you were thinking, as you were thinking it. It makes me think of homeless people and how we are quick to call their random thoughts which they sometimes verbalize out loud and to themselves, crazy.

Stop for a minute think about what you're thinking about and say every thought out loud. Yup...you sound pre-tty "crazy." I was flat-ironing my hair when I noticed that, in my head, I was repeating the phrase in a melodic tune, "standing up the entire time, standing up the entire time." I was simply thinking of what I was doing which was of course, standing up for the entire duration of my flat-ironing process. Um...that's kind of weird. I decided to say it out loud just because and it occurred to me that this is probably the same thing that we hear the homeless do on a regular basis. We all talk to ourselves, all day in fact. But most of us keep quiet and do it in our heads. They don't. So, who's crazy? Maybe everyone.

For Colored Girls...

To this day, the most memorable and life changing performance I've ever had the chance to be a part of was, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. This beautiful piece of art was created by Ntozake Shange in 1975. It's been done by those brave enough to conquer it. There's magic in this piece. Although the material hits you hard, it's so comforting and uplifting at the same time. It speaks to your spirit, and leaves you feeling light and reborn. That is why, it's still one of the most talked about pieces of literature in this country.

After Tabia, the theatre ensemble I was a part of, performed this piece, the cast begged the artistic director to bring it back. "Just one more run...please...it was so good!" But she wouldn't. She was firm and I couldn't understand why. Didn't she think it was magical, that it touched so many people? Weren't people requesting us to do it again? Yes, she felt it, and yes they were. But she knew something that we hadn't stopped to think about. We would never be able to create that type of magic again, and we'd be disappointed and haunted by what we once accomplished. So she wanted to keep the joy of the memory, she wanted us to always remember that feeling, that rush, that power. She wanted us to remember that we took wings, we flew, if only for a little while, on the magic of Ntozake's words.

Why don't people realize...

As you get older you realize the huge difference between how you feel, and what's real. To base something on your emotion, could potentially be one of the silliest things you could ever do. It's the reason for so much crime...infidelity...regret...

It's hard to find people that understand this, and it's really hard to find people that understand this in the midst of an emotional high.

Day 17

So, in regard to escaping the hole or leaving the rat race for my own race, I got promoted at my job. Yes, it's wonderful, and it's what I asked for. Okay, it's not that wonderful, but it is what I asked for and will look pretty good on my resume. And because I believe and love God, I know that it is because of Him that I got what I asked for. See, God is funny. No really...He is. Sometimes he gives you exactly what you ask for so a point can be made or something else can be clearly defined. This happens to people all the time. The car you thought you wanted, you get it. Once you get it, you realize how difficult it is to take care of. Or, on the other side of that, you get the car and everything is great. I'm not saying that every time you ask for something and you get it, things don't turn out as you'd like them to. I'm just saying, pay attention and be mindful of what you're asking. Measure your life where it is, and factor in everything that comes along with what it is you've asked for. Does it fit? Is it realistic?

Well, I've found that this new position has really allowed me to notice what I've been doing with my time since moving to New York. I have goals, and I can say that this position has made me want to speed up the process of reaching them. It's made me realize what my strengths and weaknesses are as an adult. I really thought I knew...lol!

Lately, I've come up with some pretty cool ideas and ways that I can enjoy my life while helping others enjoy theirs. I still have the acting bug and plan on fulfilling that desire, but there's something else pulling at me now, and I've got to explore it. So, that's part of it! How do you escape the race...the hole? You try out things you've never done before, go to places you've always wanted to go, explore different avenues, and your skills, your strengths and weaknesses will be made apparent. You'll find that you know yourself a lot better and even though it may take a while, you finally know where you can be your best you, where your skills can be best utilized, and how you can enjoy in its fullest capacity, the short time you have on this earth.

It's true.

so much to say

I have so much to say! I'll tell you later.

Day 16

Why do relationships have to get old? Why do the butterflies have to fly away?

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day, and she said, "Oh I love that feeling in the beginning when your phone rings and its him and you get all excited and nervous. I love it! I wish I could bottle that feeling up and save it." I responded, "Yeah, I wish the same thing. I think it's the reason why people cheat so much, they're just trying to achieve that feeling again." She agreed.

I began to think about a person who has been in and out of my life for a while and how I still seem to get butterflies in my stomach when I see his name appear on my phone. I like that it's still there...that feeling.

Day 15

This week was a rough one. I think I felt every emotion I could, against my own will most of the time. I felt lost and found, confused, frustrated, inspired, heart-broken, hopeful, excited, and anxious. So many ideas...poetry coming all at once. Most days this week I woke up with all this stuff stuck in my chest like taking a pill without water. It was stuck there, and I found myself taking deep breaths hoping I could exhale the anxiety away...all to no avail. In trying to get out of my hole of stagnation and career fatigue, I'm finding that my love of inspiring people may actually be a lucrative field that I may be able to tap into. I feel you should spend the better years of your life doing work that doesn't always feel like work. And even if it does feel like work, at the end of the day, it's completely worth it. I love to help people figure out what they want or can do. I love it because it promotes the balance that we all seek...our place and purpose in this world. So I'm tapping into this, and hoping that I can actually make something of it.

Day 14

I went to the movies today, and as I was waiting for the movie to begin, I was bombarded with advertisements. I realized that television has changed so drastically, it's become a model of exactly what's going on in our world. No longer an escape from the real world...it is the real world...literally and figuratively speaking. Why did we stop displaying families with great morals? It couldn't be because there aren't families like that in real life. Even if that is becoming true, these model families gave us hope and something to aspire to. Some argue that we no longer relate to those types of families. I disagree, but in any case, why does that matter? Watching television and going to the movies was supposed to serve as a miniature vacation, a 30 minute to 2 hour break from real life.

20 years ago, people actually watched television with their families. How many people do that these days? And what shows would they watch anyway?

Day 13

What's your blog about?

Turns out that everyone in the world has a blog. So after strangers ask you your name, if you have facebook, and what you do for a living...the next question may very well be, "So do you blog and if so, what's it about?"

Blogs are generally about whatever the hec you want to say on that day or on a particular subject. But in all cases, it's an opinion. That's it people, that's the answer to the question...all the time!

Meanwhile, in other news....I AM RESTLESS and overly anxious!!!

Trying to get out of the hole, the same one I mentioned on Day 1. You know...what my blog is supposed to be about...lol! I've kind of been at a standstill. But I have no reason to be standing still. I talked to a close friend of mine today, D.Scott, he's helping me move up and out of this thing, along with some of my other nurturers. I also have a checkpoint meeting after work tonight. I hear the advice, I just have to put some action behind it. I was thinking, what if the only option was, be productive and push forward or else I would die. Well, I would probably be a household name! So, that's the key, I've got to find the urgency!

DAY 12

Two kinds of people in this world...

I was walking to class, when I turned the corner and saw a bunch of people waiting outside the door. I thought to myself, "hmm, the door must be locked." So I stood there like everyone else. Time was passing and more people were showing up. Then out of nowhere, one of the students turned the corner, walked straight to the door, and opened it. I couldn't believe it. It was open the whole time?! Wow! Then I got to thinking, there are two kinds of people in this world. There are the people who look around and see that no one is going into the room, which must mean the door is locked. And then there are those that walk up to the door, even if there are people standing around. They're probably thinking that the people standing around are a bunch of "1s" so they need to make sure that the door is actually locked.

What kind of person are you? This actually says a lot about your character. Do you look at what everyone else is doing, and gage your response or action on that? Or are you the eager, "go getter," one who wants who seizes every opportunity.


Well...I was person number 1, and want to be person number 2. He, person 2, didn't care about what everyone else was doing, he was going to take his chances and try anyway.

Take the risk!

I don't know what day it is

and so it seems that I'm watching and feeling other flowers blossom right along side of me, but I remain the same. And I know that I am not intended to stay the same size. I AM SUPPOSED TO GROW!

Day 11

I think it's both funny and gross when people have private moments in front of you. And by private moments, I mean picking their noses, and digging in their ears. I think it also weird that people don't mention anything to the person performing the act, they simply overlook it while, of course remembering, not to touch anything associated with that person.

When I got to work this evening, I was talking to the manager on duty. He was talking to me about ice-cream, one of my favorite topics. While he was trying to remember the brand of a specific type of ice-cream, he raised his hand to his ear and used his pinkie finger to commence digging. I wanted so bad for him to be scratching his head! The itch was bothering him so much, that he went in for another nail full of whatever was in there. Shortly after, the phone rang and he answered it. I was disappointed and disgusted all at once. Why didn't he know that was gross or inappropriate? Why didn't he realize that other people have to use THAT phone and THAT computer?! I mean...COME ON!!

Day 10

people surprise you and disappoint you
it's a fact

people don't stay the same,
as much as you'd like them to
or
as much as you'd like them not to
either way
change is on its way

the past two weeks have been all about that for me.
people coming back into my life, others that never should have been there in the first place, leaving it. And then, there are the new people. The ones you are happy to see and meet, but you're just not quite sure what place in your life they will situate themselves in.


People aren't always as they seem, but sometimes they totally are. If they tell you about themselves and they don't leave out the "bad parts," which you will find hard to believe initially...please...PLEASE...believe them. Eliminate the element of surprise when it comes to the negative.

I only hope for the best...
I only hope...

Day 9

So, for those of you who don't know, I work in a hotel. I'm only telling you because some of the things I see and the stories I tell will only make sense if you know the setting.


I encounter so many interesting people on my job, but the ones I love the most are the "regulars." To some they are nerve racking, or distractingly peculiar. They're the people that have been here so long that people ignore them as they do a painting that's been on a wall for ages. But I find something special in these people. What people discount as nonsense is usually not nonsense at all. These are people who have accolades for being great in their desired field, or people that have just been alive forever and have seen things that I can't even imagine. So I talk to them, I listen to them, I ask them questions, and I listen to their advice.

On this particular evening I spoke to a gentleman who knows a lot about music. He's quite known, these days, for coming downstairs extremely intoxicated saying his famous line, "Does your mother know you're awake this late?" Usually, I just let him talk, but this time I wanted to have an actual conversation with him. I wanted to know if he could supply me with some musical knowledge. I told him that I've been having some problems finding 16 bars of music that can really express and show what my voice can do. He told me not to think of it that way but to look for a song that I actually like, one that I am passionate about. A song that tugs at your heart, one that you adore because of the music and lyrics, a song that expresses you. And the last thing he said, "...let it be a love song." My parents have always said these same things to me, yet it was still interesting to hear. He told me that he was going to create an incredible list of songs for me. And at 4am, he came downstairs with 3 notepads. I was so excited! He told me he couldn't find the list but he wrote a love song that he wanted to sing me. He actually ended up talking it, but it was beautiful and it was called "All you have to do is be Mine." He told me that I need to sing "Somewhere over the Rainbow," and to make it easier to control my nerves on stage I should sing with someone preferably a pianist who sings and it should be a male. He gave me some suggestions in regard to where I should sing and he told me he would help me. He had one last song for me, which was a hilarious song he wrote called "Laugh it Off." The song gave all these embarrassing situations that could easily be gotten over by just simply laughing them off. He told me that his advice costs, and the payment will be in the form of matches. I handed over 3 books and he was happy. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.

The next evening, the gentleman came downstairs with a huge book of Broadway songs. He'd selected the ones he thought I should sing, and then handed the book to me and told me to photocopy the songs and then give the book back. I, again, paid the man by giving him 3 books of matches and he was on his way to where I have no idea. I turned to the bellman and said, "That's what makes me happy about working here...it makes it all worth it."I felt privileged to have connected with this person, and privileged knowing that he felt comfortable enough to share his knowledge with me.

Day 8

I went to Subway this morning at about 745am. I walked in to see the same guy I see whenever I go, at whatever I time I go. I asked if he could make a sandwich this early. He replied with a smile so practiced that it would take you too long to decipher its sincerity,and a thick accent thin enough to understand, "why not?!" I took the opportunity to have a short conversation with this man. I said, "You're here all the time...Is this your franchise?" He replied without really looking up, "No, no I just work here. It's good for the future." I thought about the weight of what he just said and replied, "Well...one day you can have one of these." He stopped for a quick moment to look up and say, with the most sincerity, "Thank you." The weight of those two words was so heavy at that particular moment. I understood his hope for a better life, and the struggle to maintain the life he was currently living.

We continued to talk as he made my sandwich. We talked about my job and he told me that it was good to work hard now, because once you get older...it's too much. He even gave me an extra piece of turkey on my sandwich, and he wanted me to know about it. Trust me, I noticed. I know how sacred the food is in this particular Subway. Sometimes the sandwich looks so sparse, you have to ask for extra everything just so the sandwich looks normal. On this day he made my sandwich with extra care, in fact he was proud of the sandwich he made. It wasn't the typical assembly line sandwich he makes for more than 8 hours of his life on a daily basis. When he was finished with my sandwich he said, "See...I make it beautiful...like you."

My heart was strengthened by the seed of encouragement I may have planted today.

Day 7

I feel like what I say today, should be extra special. I only feel like this because of the fact that it's Day 7 and I love the number 7. It's supposed to be a number that represents completion and one of God's favorite numbers as well.

A lot happened last week and over the weekend. I could probably write a months worth on just the last few days. But to sum it all up life did what it often does...teets and totts. Life is a constant teeter totter of emotion. We're constantly trying to find the balance of happiness hence the constant need for vacation,meditation, and for some, drugs. But I guess the key to the balance is understanding that life is going to throw you curve balls, but you have to brace yourself and prepare for the impact. Don't ever think that the situation is bigger than you, or that you don't have the strength to overcome. This is the key to balance in every situation.

How do you balance a teeter totter? By having an equal amount of weight on both ends. There's nothing you can do in regard to the fact that life is going to be full of both good and bad times. Be optimistic! When you're down, know without a doubt, that you will be right back up in know time!

Day 6

I don't know what to say...I keep starting things and not being able to finish them. I don't really want to put unfinished work up here, or unfinished thoughts. I have a lot running through my head, like always, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to release it and make grammatical sense of it. I guess in not writing a blog, I've actually written one. I'm feeling confused and lazy. My pursuit for success needs to be more intense than what it is. And I watch myself do nothing. I've been under the weather so I've been resting, but I just feel like I should be 5 times more productive than I am. Try, Try, Try!!!! I think I have a poem about this. That being said, this happens wayyyy more than it should!

On a lighter note...


I have a friend at work who I spend most of the time laughing with. The other half is spent encouraging each other or telling each other how ridiculously weird and absurd the other is. We were walking to the train and receiving a peculiar amount of attention. I said, "Hey, we're popular today...why?" She responded, "We're ovulating!" Hilarious!!! We both cracked up as we entered the train station to end what most people are beginning...our work day.

-LBG

Day 5

I recently heard the song that inspired this piece...just sharing.

Today can be different than yesterday
You can feel better today
You can appreciate all of your senses today

Sit down on the old wooden bench in the park and look around...
Appreciate what God has done
What He's doing

The wind blowing the leaves everywhere
You can't be bored
He's changed the colors for you

Reds and yellows that crowd the once grey walkways

You don't have to understand
Just understand

It's precisely the way it's supposed to be
And you're here right now
You occupy space and time
With purpose

Always learning
Realizing...
Smiling at your new wisdom
Laughing at what you've yet to learn

Amazed at your journey
Not finished, but still amazed

Touched

Flying on the wings of Spirit
Close your eyes
Let the clouds brush your face as you fly

Tears
Fall
You can't believe it
What you've always believed is true

Beautiful epiphany
Everything matters
You
Matter

Your place is here
Flying on the wings of Spirit.

Day 4

The sound of the guitar playing as I wait for the train to arrive. The Ashmont Train to Savin Hill. The drastic change that occurs once I enter the train, a young kid listening and dancing to "if it isn't love," by New Edition. Whether the riders liked it or not, he WAS that subway's DJ, switching songs before their end. And even those who tried to be mad at him for invading their eardrums, couldn't help but tap their feet.

It's the city, the " be who want to be's" all mashed up together on train platforms, buses, walking the streets, and in the corner stores. Free to be who want to be, if you have the guts to be.


-LBG

Day 3

Today, I have a few heavy thoughts swimming around...

But one is this...

I call myself an artist, ant I believe that I am one as well. I think that most artist tend to feel more than the average person allows. I sympathize and empathize with people, sometimes more than I'd like. I wish I could walk away from situations but my feelings tend to jump ahead and latch on making it hard for me to disregard and ignore the situation at hand. The toughest situations for me to handle are those regarding close friends and family. Anyone who knows me, knows my family means the absolute world to me. You hurt them, you are most definitely hurting me. I am a person who, despite the current layout of my life, requires balance. I can't stand to be sad or upset for long periods of time. But I cannot be balanced if someone from my flock is hurting, and in such a deep way.

And that's what is happening now, someone is hurting. I wonder if she knows that the same questions that boggle her mind, are also boggling mine as well. I know how it feels to have unanswered questions, but I also know how it feels to stop seeking the answers because you realize that the answers are no longer necessary for closure. I pray for her, and hope that she doesn't lose hope, and I pray for her restoration. So for now, I remain slightly tilted until she's back to being herself...confident and ready to conquer.


-LBG

Day 2

What do you imagine most? What's your most frequent daydream? Do You imagine feelings? I'm, more often than not, daydreaming about something. But I find that a common daydream is that of the feeling and relief I will experience when all inhibitions escape me and I soar. I think of a baby bird, unable to fly, but knowing one day he will. How often does he daydream of that day, and how exuberant will he feel when it finally arrives? Can you imagine?

-LBG

Day 1

I never thought I'd ever have a blog, but never say never...right? I've got one! A few people told me that I should have one, and I should post my random stories, poems, and observations, so I'm going to try this blogging thing out and see what comes of it. If anything, it's better than writing notes in my blackberry and not backing them up, which results in lost material on a frozen phone. Why do we put so much trust into technology? We are heartbroken when it fails us, like a boyfriend leaving us after an intense relationship! "How could you do this to me?!" Clearly, I'm a recent victim to this catastrophic event! I'll admit...I cried. So, if anything my work will be saved if not for your enjoyment, at least for my sanity.

I recently had a meeting of the minds with a friend at work. I decided to have this meeting because I was beginning to get frustrated with my life. What am I doing? Why did I move to New York? I definitely didn't move here to sleep and work! And that's exactly what I'm doing. I mean, I have done some notable things here and there, but I need some consistency. I have this problem, and only I can call it that, because if anyone else does, I'll be offended and defensive. Anyway, I have this problem where I get super motivated and I'm like a freight train, and then all of a sudden the train slows down almost to a standstill, and it stays that way for way longer than it should. I'm not even near the place in my life where I can afford to just coast. I haven't generated enough product to watch the money just roll in. At this point, I barely even have a product! So, that's where the idea for the meeting came from. It came from me being dissatisfied with my normal behavior, and me wanting desperately to climb out of this hole that I've been in for so long. But I'm not the only one who feels this way, which is why I included my friend at work. Both of us are talented individuals who battle with ourselves as we try to figure out how to get focused, hone our gifts, sharpen our skill set, package ourselves, and move into the success that surely awaits.

So, I said all of that to say that this blog will be dedicated to all the many things that go on in my mind, hence the blog title, Thought Crossings. In addition, I will also write about the journey and the experiences that create my life's chapters, in which the end result will be...success.


LBG