Why do relationships have to get old? Why do the butterflies have to fly away?
I was talking to one of my best friends the other day, and she said, "Oh I love that feeling in the beginning when your phone rings and its him and you get all excited and nervous. I love it! I wish I could bottle that feeling up and save it." I responded, "Yeah, I wish the same thing. I think it's the reason why people cheat so much, they're just trying to achieve that feeling again." She agreed.
I began to think about a person who has been in and out of my life for a while and how I still seem to get butterflies in my stomach when I see his name appear on my phone. I like that it's still there...that feeling.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Day 15
This week was a rough one. I think I felt every emotion I could, against my own will most of the time. I felt lost and found, confused, frustrated, inspired, heart-broken, hopeful, excited, and anxious. So many ideas...poetry coming all at once. Most days this week I woke up with all this stuff stuck in my chest like taking a pill without water. It was stuck there, and I found myself taking deep breaths hoping I could exhale the anxiety away...all to no avail. In trying to get out of my hole of stagnation and career fatigue, I'm finding that my love of inspiring people may actually be a lucrative field that I may be able to tap into. I feel you should spend the better years of your life doing work that doesn't always feel like work. And even if it does feel like work, at the end of the day, it's completely worth it. I love to help people figure out what they want or can do. I love it because it promotes the balance that we all seek...our place and purpose in this world. So I'm tapping into this, and hoping that I can actually make something of it.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day 14
I went to the movies today, and as I was waiting for the movie to begin, I was bombarded with advertisements. I realized that television has changed so drastically, it's become a model of exactly what's going on in our world. No longer an escape from the real world...it is the real world...literally and figuratively speaking. Why did we stop displaying families with great morals? It couldn't be because there aren't families like that in real life. Even if that is becoming true, these model families gave us hope and something to aspire to. Some argue that we no longer relate to those types of families. I disagree, but in any case, why does that matter? Watching television and going to the movies was supposed to serve as a miniature vacation, a 30 minute to 2 hour break from real life.
20 years ago, people actually watched television with their families. How many people do that these days? And what shows would they watch anyway?
20 years ago, people actually watched television with their families. How many people do that these days? And what shows would they watch anyway?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Day 13
What's your blog about?
Turns out that everyone in the world has a blog. So after strangers ask you your name, if you have facebook, and what you do for a living...the next question may very well be, "So do you blog and if so, what's it about?"
Blogs are generally about whatever the hec you want to say on that day or on a particular subject. But in all cases, it's an opinion. That's it people, that's the answer to the question...all the time!
Meanwhile, in other news....I AM RESTLESS and overly anxious!!!
Trying to get out of the hole, the same one I mentioned on Day 1. You know...what my blog is supposed to be about...lol! I've kind of been at a standstill. But I have no reason to be standing still. I talked to a close friend of mine today, D.Scott, he's helping me move up and out of this thing, along with some of my other nurturers. I also have a checkpoint meeting after work tonight. I hear the advice, I just have to put some action behind it. I was thinking, what if the only option was, be productive and push forward or else I would die. Well, I would probably be a household name! So, that's the key, I've got to find the urgency!
Turns out that everyone in the world has a blog. So after strangers ask you your name, if you have facebook, and what you do for a living...the next question may very well be, "So do you blog and if so, what's it about?"
Blogs are generally about whatever the hec you want to say on that day or on a particular subject. But in all cases, it's an opinion. That's it people, that's the answer to the question...all the time!
Meanwhile, in other news....I AM RESTLESS and overly anxious!!!
Trying to get out of the hole, the same one I mentioned on Day 1. You know...what my blog is supposed to be about...lol! I've kind of been at a standstill. But I have no reason to be standing still. I talked to a close friend of mine today, D.Scott, he's helping me move up and out of this thing, along with some of my other nurturers. I also have a checkpoint meeting after work tonight. I hear the advice, I just have to put some action behind it. I was thinking, what if the only option was, be productive and push forward or else I would die. Well, I would probably be a household name! So, that's the key, I've got to find the urgency!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
DAY 12
Two kinds of people in this world...
I was walking to class, when I turned the corner and saw a bunch of people waiting outside the door. I thought to myself, "hmm, the door must be locked." So I stood there like everyone else. Time was passing and more people were showing up. Then out of nowhere, one of the students turned the corner, walked straight to the door, and opened it. I couldn't believe it. It was open the whole time?! Wow! Then I got to thinking, there are two kinds of people in this world. There are the people who look around and see that no one is going into the room, which must mean the door is locked. And then there are those that walk up to the door, even if there are people standing around. They're probably thinking that the people standing around are a bunch of "1s" so they need to make sure that the door is actually locked.
What kind of person are you? This actually says a lot about your character. Do you look at what everyone else is doing, and gage your response or action on that? Or are you the eager, "go getter," one who wants who seizes every opportunity.
Well...I was person number 1, and want to be person number 2. He, person 2, didn't care about what everyone else was doing, he was going to take his chances and try anyway.
Take the risk!
I was walking to class, when I turned the corner and saw a bunch of people waiting outside the door. I thought to myself, "hmm, the door must be locked." So I stood there like everyone else. Time was passing and more people were showing up. Then out of nowhere, one of the students turned the corner, walked straight to the door, and opened it. I couldn't believe it. It was open the whole time?! Wow! Then I got to thinking, there are two kinds of people in this world. There are the people who look around and see that no one is going into the room, which must mean the door is locked. And then there are those that walk up to the door, even if there are people standing around. They're probably thinking that the people standing around are a bunch of "1s" so they need to make sure that the door is actually locked.
What kind of person are you? This actually says a lot about your character. Do you look at what everyone else is doing, and gage your response or action on that? Or are you the eager, "go getter," one who wants who seizes every opportunity.
Well...I was person number 1, and want to be person number 2. He, person 2, didn't care about what everyone else was doing, he was going to take his chances and try anyway.
Take the risk!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I don't know what day it is
and so it seems that I'm watching and feeling other flowers blossom right along side of me, but I remain the same. And I know that I am not intended to stay the same size. I AM SUPPOSED TO GROW!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 11
I think it's both funny and gross when people have private moments in front of you. And by private moments, I mean picking their noses, and digging in their ears. I think it also weird that people don't mention anything to the person performing the act, they simply overlook it while, of course remembering, not to touch anything associated with that person.
When I got to work this evening, I was talking to the manager on duty. He was talking to me about ice-cream, one of my favorite topics. While he was trying to remember the brand of a specific type of ice-cream, he raised his hand to his ear and used his pinkie finger to commence digging. I wanted so bad for him to be scratching his head! The itch was bothering him so much, that he went in for another nail full of whatever was in there. Shortly after, the phone rang and he answered it. I was disappointed and disgusted all at once. Why didn't he know that was gross or inappropriate? Why didn't he realize that other people have to use THAT phone and THAT computer?! I mean...COME ON!!
When I got to work this evening, I was talking to the manager on duty. He was talking to me about ice-cream, one of my favorite topics. While he was trying to remember the brand of a specific type of ice-cream, he raised his hand to his ear and used his pinkie finger to commence digging. I wanted so bad for him to be scratching his head! The itch was bothering him so much, that he went in for another nail full of whatever was in there. Shortly after, the phone rang and he answered it. I was disappointed and disgusted all at once. Why didn't he know that was gross or inappropriate? Why didn't he realize that other people have to use THAT phone and THAT computer?! I mean...COME ON!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Day 10
people surprise you and disappoint you
it's a fact
people don't stay the same,
as much as you'd like them to
or
as much as you'd like them not to
either way
change is on its way
the past two weeks have been all about that for me.
people coming back into my life, others that never should have been there in the first place, leaving it. And then, there are the new people. The ones you are happy to see and meet, but you're just not quite sure what place in your life they will situate themselves in.
People aren't always as they seem, but sometimes they totally are. If they tell you about themselves and they don't leave out the "bad parts," which you will find hard to believe initially...please...PLEASE...believe them. Eliminate the element of surprise when it comes to the negative.
I only hope for the best...
I only hope...
it's a fact
people don't stay the same,
as much as you'd like them to
or
as much as you'd like them not to
either way
change is on its way
the past two weeks have been all about that for me.
people coming back into my life, others that never should have been there in the first place, leaving it. And then, there are the new people. The ones you are happy to see and meet, but you're just not quite sure what place in your life they will situate themselves in.
People aren't always as they seem, but sometimes they totally are. If they tell you about themselves and they don't leave out the "bad parts," which you will find hard to believe initially...please...PLEASE...believe them. Eliminate the element of surprise when it comes to the negative.
I only hope for the best...
I only hope...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Day 9
So, for those of you who don't know, I work in a hotel. I'm only telling you because some of the things I see and the stories I tell will only make sense if you know the setting.
I encounter so many interesting people on my job, but the ones I love the most are the "regulars." To some they are nerve racking, or distractingly peculiar. They're the people that have been here so long that people ignore them as they do a painting that's been on a wall for ages. But I find something special in these people. What people discount as nonsense is usually not nonsense at all. These are people who have accolades for being great in their desired field, or people that have just been alive forever and have seen things that I can't even imagine. So I talk to them, I listen to them, I ask them questions, and I listen to their advice.
On this particular evening I spoke to a gentleman who knows a lot about music. He's quite known, these days, for coming downstairs extremely intoxicated saying his famous line, "Does your mother know you're awake this late?" Usually, I just let him talk, but this time I wanted to have an actual conversation with him. I wanted to know if he could supply me with some musical knowledge. I told him that I've been having some problems finding 16 bars of music that can really express and show what my voice can do. He told me not to think of it that way but to look for a song that I actually like, one that I am passionate about. A song that tugs at your heart, one that you adore because of the music and lyrics, a song that expresses you. And the last thing he said, "...let it be a love song." My parents have always said these same things to me, yet it was still interesting to hear. He told me that he was going to create an incredible list of songs for me. And at 4am, he came downstairs with 3 notepads. I was so excited! He told me he couldn't find the list but he wrote a love song that he wanted to sing me. He actually ended up talking it, but it was beautiful and it was called "All you have to do is be Mine." He told me that I need to sing "Somewhere over the Rainbow," and to make it easier to control my nerves on stage I should sing with someone preferably a pianist who sings and it should be a male. He gave me some suggestions in regard to where I should sing and he told me he would help me. He had one last song for me, which was a hilarious song he wrote called "Laugh it Off." The song gave all these embarrassing situations that could easily be gotten over by just simply laughing them off. He told me that his advice costs, and the payment will be in the form of matches. I handed over 3 books and he was happy. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.
The next evening, the gentleman came downstairs with a huge book of Broadway songs. He'd selected the ones he thought I should sing, and then handed the book to me and told me to photocopy the songs and then give the book back. I, again, paid the man by giving him 3 books of matches and he was on his way to where I have no idea. I turned to the bellman and said, "That's what makes me happy about working here...it makes it all worth it."I felt privileged to have connected with this person, and privileged knowing that he felt comfortable enough to share his knowledge with me.
I encounter so many interesting people on my job, but the ones I love the most are the "regulars." To some they are nerve racking, or distractingly peculiar. They're the people that have been here so long that people ignore them as they do a painting that's been on a wall for ages. But I find something special in these people. What people discount as nonsense is usually not nonsense at all. These are people who have accolades for being great in their desired field, or people that have just been alive forever and have seen things that I can't even imagine. So I talk to them, I listen to them, I ask them questions, and I listen to their advice.
On this particular evening I spoke to a gentleman who knows a lot about music. He's quite known, these days, for coming downstairs extremely intoxicated saying his famous line, "Does your mother know you're awake this late?" Usually, I just let him talk, but this time I wanted to have an actual conversation with him. I wanted to know if he could supply me with some musical knowledge. I told him that I've been having some problems finding 16 bars of music that can really express and show what my voice can do. He told me not to think of it that way but to look for a song that I actually like, one that I am passionate about. A song that tugs at your heart, one that you adore because of the music and lyrics, a song that expresses you. And the last thing he said, "...let it be a love song." My parents have always said these same things to me, yet it was still interesting to hear. He told me that he was going to create an incredible list of songs for me. And at 4am, he came downstairs with 3 notepads. I was so excited! He told me he couldn't find the list but he wrote a love song that he wanted to sing me. He actually ended up talking it, but it was beautiful and it was called "All you have to do is be Mine." He told me that I need to sing "Somewhere over the Rainbow," and to make it easier to control my nerves on stage I should sing with someone preferably a pianist who sings and it should be a male. He gave me some suggestions in regard to where I should sing and he told me he would help me. He had one last song for me, which was a hilarious song he wrote called "Laugh it Off." The song gave all these embarrassing situations that could easily be gotten over by just simply laughing them off. He told me that his advice costs, and the payment will be in the form of matches. I handed over 3 books and he was happy. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.
The next evening, the gentleman came downstairs with a huge book of Broadway songs. He'd selected the ones he thought I should sing, and then handed the book to me and told me to photocopy the songs and then give the book back. I, again, paid the man by giving him 3 books of matches and he was on his way to where I have no idea. I turned to the bellman and said, "That's what makes me happy about working here...it makes it all worth it."I felt privileged to have connected with this person, and privileged knowing that he felt comfortable enough to share his knowledge with me.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day 8
I went to Subway this morning at about 745am. I walked in to see the same guy I see whenever I go, at whatever I time I go. I asked if he could make a sandwich this early. He replied with a smile so practiced that it would take you too long to decipher its sincerity,and a thick accent thin enough to understand, "why not?!" I took the opportunity to have a short conversation with this man. I said, "You're here all the time...Is this your franchise?" He replied without really looking up, "No, no I just work here. It's good for the future." I thought about the weight of what he just said and replied, "Well...one day you can have one of these." He stopped for a quick moment to look up and say, with the most sincerity, "Thank you." The weight of those two words was so heavy at that particular moment. I understood his hope for a better life, and the struggle to maintain the life he was currently living.
We continued to talk as he made my sandwich. We talked about my job and he told me that it was good to work hard now, because once you get older...it's too much. He even gave me an extra piece of turkey on my sandwich, and he wanted me to know about it. Trust me, I noticed. I know how sacred the food is in this particular Subway. Sometimes the sandwich looks so sparse, you have to ask for extra everything just so the sandwich looks normal. On this day he made my sandwich with extra care, in fact he was proud of the sandwich he made. It wasn't the typical assembly line sandwich he makes for more than 8 hours of his life on a daily basis. When he was finished with my sandwich he said, "See...I make it beautiful...like you."
My heart was strengthened by the seed of encouragement I may have planted today.
We continued to talk as he made my sandwich. We talked about my job and he told me that it was good to work hard now, because once you get older...it's too much. He even gave me an extra piece of turkey on my sandwich, and he wanted me to know about it. Trust me, I noticed. I know how sacred the food is in this particular Subway. Sometimes the sandwich looks so sparse, you have to ask for extra everything just so the sandwich looks normal. On this day he made my sandwich with extra care, in fact he was proud of the sandwich he made. It wasn't the typical assembly line sandwich he makes for more than 8 hours of his life on a daily basis. When he was finished with my sandwich he said, "See...I make it beautiful...like you."
My heart was strengthened by the seed of encouragement I may have planted today.
Day 7
I feel like what I say today, should be extra special. I only feel like this because of the fact that it's Day 7 and I love the number 7. It's supposed to be a number that represents completion and one of God's favorite numbers as well.
A lot happened last week and over the weekend. I could probably write a months worth on just the last few days. But to sum it all up life did what it often does...teets and totts. Life is a constant teeter totter of emotion. We're constantly trying to find the balance of happiness hence the constant need for vacation,meditation, and for some, drugs. But I guess the key to the balance is understanding that life is going to throw you curve balls, but you have to brace yourself and prepare for the impact. Don't ever think that the situation is bigger than you, or that you don't have the strength to overcome. This is the key to balance in every situation.
How do you balance a teeter totter? By having an equal amount of weight on both ends. There's nothing you can do in regard to the fact that life is going to be full of both good and bad times. Be optimistic! When you're down, know without a doubt, that you will be right back up in know time!
A lot happened last week and over the weekend. I could probably write a months worth on just the last few days. But to sum it all up life did what it often does...teets and totts. Life is a constant teeter totter of emotion. We're constantly trying to find the balance of happiness hence the constant need for vacation,meditation, and for some, drugs. But I guess the key to the balance is understanding that life is going to throw you curve balls, but you have to brace yourself and prepare for the impact. Don't ever think that the situation is bigger than you, or that you don't have the strength to overcome. This is the key to balance in every situation.
How do you balance a teeter totter? By having an equal amount of weight on both ends. There's nothing you can do in regard to the fact that life is going to be full of both good and bad times. Be optimistic! When you're down, know without a doubt, that you will be right back up in know time!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Day 6
I don't know what to say...I keep starting things and not being able to finish them. I don't really want to put unfinished work up here, or unfinished thoughts. I have a lot running through my head, like always, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to release it and make grammatical sense of it. I guess in not writing a blog, I've actually written one. I'm feeling confused and lazy. My pursuit for success needs to be more intense than what it is. And I watch myself do nothing. I've been under the weather so I've been resting, but I just feel like I should be 5 times more productive than I am. Try, Try, Try!!!! I think I have a poem about this. That being said, this happens wayyyy more than it should!
On a lighter note...
I have a friend at work who I spend most of the time laughing with. The other half is spent encouraging each other or telling each other how ridiculously weird and absurd the other is. We were walking to the train and receiving a peculiar amount of attention. I said, "Hey, we're popular today...why?" She responded, "We're ovulating!" Hilarious!!! We both cracked up as we entered the train station to end what most people are beginning...our work day.
-LBG
On a lighter note...
I have a friend at work who I spend most of the time laughing with. The other half is spent encouraging each other or telling each other how ridiculously weird and absurd the other is. We were walking to the train and receiving a peculiar amount of attention. I said, "Hey, we're popular today...why?" She responded, "We're ovulating!" Hilarious!!! We both cracked up as we entered the train station to end what most people are beginning...our work day.
-LBG
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Day 5
I recently heard the song that inspired this piece...just sharing.
Today can be different than yesterday
You can feel better today
You can appreciate all of your senses today
Sit down on the old wooden bench in the park and look around...
Appreciate what God has done
What He's doing
The wind blowing the leaves everywhere
You can't be bored
He's changed the colors for you
Reds and yellows that crowd the once grey walkways
You don't have to understand
Just understand
It's precisely the way it's supposed to be
And you're here right now
You occupy space and time
With purpose
Always learning
Realizing...
Smiling at your new wisdom
Laughing at what you've yet to learn
Amazed at your journey
Not finished, but still amazed
Touched
Flying on the wings of Spirit
Close your eyes
Let the clouds brush your face as you fly
Tears
Fall
You can't believe it
What you've always believed is true
Beautiful epiphany
Everything matters
You
Matter
Your place is here
Flying on the wings of Spirit.
Today can be different than yesterday
You can feel better today
You can appreciate all of your senses today
Sit down on the old wooden bench in the park and look around...
Appreciate what God has done
What He's doing
The wind blowing the leaves everywhere
You can't be bored
He's changed the colors for you
Reds and yellows that crowd the once grey walkways
You don't have to understand
Just understand
It's precisely the way it's supposed to be
And you're here right now
You occupy space and time
With purpose
Always learning
Realizing...
Smiling at your new wisdom
Laughing at what you've yet to learn
Amazed at your journey
Not finished, but still amazed
Touched
Flying on the wings of Spirit
Close your eyes
Let the clouds brush your face as you fly
Tears
Fall
You can't believe it
What you've always believed is true
Beautiful epiphany
Everything matters
You
Matter
Your place is here
Flying on the wings of Spirit.
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